Often times we are told that we should «treat others how you would want to be treated», and for the most part we try to follow the saying. Very rarely do we stop and think to treat ourselves how we would treat others. The idea of self-love/care may be foreign to many who have dedicated themselves to only caring for others.
Often times when we ignore self-care and focus on others we can be labeled as a hypocrite. The famous, «do as I say, not as I do» comes to mind and we push off treating ourselves with love, forgiveness, and respect. In fact, we get so caught up in making sure other people feel filled with love and acceptance we don’t give the same attention to the person who needs it most, ourselves.
Depreciating thoughts of, «I’m not worthy,» «I’m not good enough,» and «I don’t deserve this» enter into our minds.
Personally, I always struggled with that idea of self-love/care. I would give the shirt off my back for a friend in need, but I wouldn’t find another shirt to cover myself afterward. From what I understood, it didn’t matter if I loved and accepted myself, what mattered is that others knew they were important. It wasn’t until I became a teacher that I realized how important it was to love others, and myself. You see, when you have to look at yourself in the eyes of another person it can be hard to face the reflection looking back.
In the eyes of my students I am more than just their teacher, I am their guide, their confident, and their coach. When they feel down, I am there to pick them up, root them on, and push them forward.
One day a student made a comment on how awesome I was, without thinking I responded under my breathe that I wasn’t all I was cracked up to be. By the time I realized what I had said the expression changed on my student’s face from one of admiration to one of concern and doubt. She began to question me, how could I believe in her if I didn’t even believe in myself? I tried to laugh it off and pretend it was just a joke, but then I only contradicted myself even more since I encourage my students not to make self-deprecating jokes.
That moment, and a few others, helped open my eyes that the best way to love one another is to start within. We can look at Mark 12:30-31, «Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.»
When we love God with all of our heart, we can love ourselves in the way that God created us. Rather than trying to shower others with love and forgiveness, we can radiate it from within ourselves to share with one another. Do not just give love away; make sure to share it to yourself as well.
